Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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