if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize