I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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