i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
