This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
