Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
