when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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