"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
