I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
