Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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