i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
