i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I would fuck him just for his dog
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
