Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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