When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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