you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize