I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
