Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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