I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
