This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
