apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
