I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So squirting runs in the family.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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