My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
