Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
