I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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