two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
