Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
