Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
