So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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