Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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