If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
did i just pee glitter
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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