Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize