I'm lost and stupid without you.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
These tits shall not be calmed
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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