There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
