Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
