bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
