During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
