You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
