The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
