Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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