"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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