I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize