Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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