there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize