that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
