K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
