do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
