Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
