I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
