But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
