try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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