Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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