Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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