Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
