My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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