Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
