I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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