About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize